Showing posts with label Drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drinking. Show all posts

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Night clubs



Hey, well firstly I want to apologise for not blogging in nearly a month…apologising to an imaginary audience, first sign of madness. I’ve been on holiday and before that nothing much changed and nothing much happened of any significance.

Tonight was a sober, tired, night in a local nightclub/bar, and I couldn’t help notice, and frankly be pretty disgusted that it really could be compared to a cattle market. I can’t help but think that if Id been my normal drunk self I would not have noticed but the sight of ridiculously fake girls and typical lads gawping as they went past really struck a nerve.

What kind of girl am I hoping to meet here? Its not entirely accurate to say I don’t like clubs, I cant be doing with these club/bars where people pull up chairs and attempt to have a conversation inches away from people attempting to dance the night away. Who are these people kidding, you can’t hear what they are saying and if my group of friends wanted to make small talk we could have stayed at home. You should be able to get lost in the music then talk at the bar, dance with a girl then buy her a drink.

Also the clubs/bars I frequent seem to have a boy/girl ratio that is heavily weighted to the XY, which results in even more typical lads gawping at a concentrated form of typical girls.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

A useful tip


Driving home to visit family up north my attention was drawn to a road sign…12 foot wide which simply read:

“DO NOT USE THE HARD SHOULDER”

Well thank you Mr road side sign writing man, if it wasn’t for your not so casual reminder I may have forgotten my years of driving experience, not to mention the highway code, and strayed into that lane which we all know is reserved for emergencies.

In fact I wish you were around more often to write me glaringly obvious notices, some from my visit could have included

“WARNING: Do not try to rekindle a relationship with the girl from home who messed you around”

“OBSERVE: Giving your best friends ex evil stares is not appreciated by anyone”

“CAUTION: Telling old girlfriends how amazing they were may annoy current partners”

“DANGER: Do not drunk text”



Where were you when I needed you most Mr road side sign writing man?

Life can kill…take a break